You can be a million miles apart mentally while at exactly the same bed and as close as the next pulse despite the fact that you’re separated by time or miles. Maybe you have had the experience of feeling really separated or far apart from your spouse despite the fact that you’re within touching distance? Have you ever felt close to somebody that you see rarely or do not know that well?
I’ve had both experiences in my life on more than 1 occasion and I have attempted to ascertain the root of the closeness and distance paradox. I don’t have a definitive answer, but I believe I’m getting closer to the center of the issue.
There are lots of varieties of closeness or distance. I’ve felt quite close emotionally to someone yet a thousand miles apart physically. I’ve felt a terrific valley of space between somebody spiritually yet a closeness in different areas. If you’re in a relationship and don’t feel near your significant other or spouse in any of the aforementioned ways I advise you to think about the value of the relationship on your path through the rest of your life and how to change this or what it shows in the total picture of your connection needs or agendas.
The actual problem here is when we’re close in some distant and ways in others. By way of instance, in case you’ve got a greater demand for greater affection, emotional closeness or love and your significant other has a higher demand for greater financial security and no need for the love or psychological closeness, you’ll never bridge this gap focusing on an entirely unrelated common area on your relationship or pretending it does not exist or does not really matter. You will have a tendency to bring the unresolved resentments, bags, expectations, guilt etc. to the different regions of your connection contributing to greater space and more dysfunction. You might not do this purposely, however you’ll surely do it unconsciously.
I am only asking you to spend some time considering where you’re near and far apart in a current relationship and its effect on the overall relationship and all your connection needs and expectations. If you do not appraise on a practical basis the positives and negatives on any connection you might be heading for serious disappointment.