Have you ever had someone tell you that they were not interested in having a relationship with you? That can be a devastating thing to hear.
Did you find it hard to let go? Can you minimize the message and hang on to some dream hoping that with time the individual would change their mind?
Unfortunately, when we feel lonely or needy, it’s easy to fall into a fantasy world where reality is downplayed.
Feeling sorry for people can keep us trapped in unhealthy relationships where our needs aren’t met. We try harder and harder to help another person without anything in return except disrespect and abuse.
Fear is an emotion that can stop us from establishing healthy boundaries. When we think that we’ll disappoint, angry or lose another person we can sacrifice our own needs repeatedly until we’re miserable and ill.
In it, he tells the tales of customers he’s treated who suffered from severe diseases such as cancer, Parkinson’s and Multiple Sclerosis. They all had one thing in common. Each of these was focussed on meeting the needs of others and ignoring the injury that they had experienced in their own lives.
We have all heard about how Type A individuals are extremely goal-oriented and competitive. They push ahead with fire until they get what they want. Type B personalities are more balanced and less stressed about life. Mate’s profiles are what he describes as Type C. These are people who may seem to be quiet and considerate but beneath the surface are angry and frustrated. Rather than asserting themselves, they tend to concentrate on pacifying others. Because they push their emotions down and deny needs, their bodies break down.
Healthy relationships have several things in common:
1. Communication is clear and respected. When someone says something, another person believes them and respects the message.
2. Each individual knows where they stop, and the other person begins. They take responsibility for their own actions and permit another person to be responsible for their actions.
3. Forgiveness is given but negative patterns are faced rather than forgiven repeatedly without change being witnessed.
4. Needs are recognized for both parties and every person endeavors to help them be met.
5. Values are shared and honoured by both.
We are living in an age of speed where we’re accustomed to getting what we want fast. Entering a connection immediately, however, can be misleading because occasionally people tend to say what they think you need to hear rather than reveal who they really are.
It is much better to take time to get to know another person before you enter a serious relationship. It takes time and not only words to make an accurate assessment.
And remember, you can meet a lot of wonderful people but that does not mean that they’re a great match for you! You have to know yourself and your needs before you may find the most appropriate partner.
Finally, if you are more committed to another than they are to you, it is time to check in the mirror. Perhaps you will need to take appropriate actions and call Melbourne Wildlife Removal to improve your situation.
Wishing and hoping just are not enough!